You Don't Find Yourself; You Create Yourself!

A practical guide to rebranding yourself

I was always extremely jealous of kids around me growing up who had strong family structures and traditions, like they had family dinners, or they all went to church on Sunday, or they were “a really fun family” or “a really nice family”, or “a southern family” whatever.

I always felt like those kids, the ones that had strong upbringings, really knew who they were; and I was like a confused, misguided, lost puppy barking as loud as possible for more attention.

( When you don't know who you are, you kind of throw everything up against a wall to see what sticks. Typically, you end up trying way to hard to fit in, and become an extremely obnoxious, overzealous, anxiously attached to all her friends, teenager. Charming. )

If I would go visit a friends lake house for the weekend, or go to a family dinner at someone's house, go to church with someone’s family, whatever wholesome family tradition I was included in, I would always go home and cry. Like profusely sob…… about the plate of extremely mediocre chicken someone’s mother had made me.

It wasn't the chicken of course, it was that this friend of mine had a sense of this is where I came from, or these are my roots, because they had the upbringing that provided them with it…. and I knew I didn't no matter how hard I tried. Even simple things like sense of style, what to wear, what to eat, what music to listen to, how to put on makeup, what to believe, how to talk, I just had no f***ing idea who I was supposed to be.

Although I’m extremely grateful for my childhood and my amazing parents who I am incredibly bonded to and talk to everyday, I recognize how much more work I had to put in to giving myself a sense of personal identity. I remember thinking “okay, no one’s going to tell me who I am, so I’m going to have to figure it out”. And let me tell you… I created a version of myself I am absolutely obsessed with and you can to.

The strongest foundation you can build for confidence is a strong sense of personal identity.

Here’s how I branded and rebranded myself:

1. Your personality is not real

You be ANYTHING you want to be, and you can change it every day if you want to. You are never restricted to “being” anything, and don’t let anyone tell you differently. We don’t “find” ourselves, we create ourselves.

2. What lights you up? Lead with that.

Those book characters, or movie characters, or celebrities, role models, whoever, that just REALLY inspire you: figure out why.

Specifically why do they inspire you so much? What traits do they possess that you admire? Is it their confidence? How charismatic they are? How intelligent? How warm?

THEN realize, you could not recognize those traits in someone else, if you, yourself, did not possess them. Start leading with the traits you like the most!

3. Moodboard like it’s your job.

You can’t just think it, you have to see it. Moodboards are so great because they make you feel inspired. The more emotion you can generate behind this new version of yourself, excitement, inspiration, admiration, the better.

This version of you, that leads with the traits you love, what does their life look like? If they were a drink, what drink would they be? If they were a color, what color would they be? How do they walk into rooms? What do they wear? What kind of friend are they? What do they do in their free time?

Make all of this into a mood board! I use Pinterest for everything, every day of my life.

It doesn't matter what’s on it, as long as it makes you feel inspired. This is your personal brand. Mine is gold, horses, champagne, friends, working out, cooking, reading, work hard-play hard, chic and sophisticated style, parties, cars, vintage- southern-y things, my boyfriend, classic interior design style, etc.

4. Intention

From now on, everything you do, is the way this version of you would do it. Before you walk into a room, or begin a conversation, or cook something, or get dressed, or even get out of bed, you do it the way the best version of you would.

Look at the mood board everyday, allow yourself to feel excited and inspired about your own life.

It takes time, but the brain will rewire itself to operate in this way. The brain rewires what we repeat. Repetition rewires. Then one day, you wake up, and you’ve been this person for years!

Stay consistent, and it will come. There is no reason you shouldn't be someone you’re absolutely obsessed with.