as a very new adult who only turned eighteen about less than a month ago, my biggest struggle is just figuring out who i am. reading your words about envying those with rootfull family cultures i related to it so much. i envy people who are so sure of themselves. who just somehow know what to do, what to wear, what to say, how to say it at every occasion. my envy does not take the form of jealousy, however i am tired of trying on costumes of personalities that very obviously don’t fit me. you are someone i dearly look up to as an idol, even and i take your words seriously. i have a question though. how do you feel okey with changing your personality? to make that more clear, i feel like i have to somehow “fit in” the image that people have of me. i hesitate to look confident in rooms despite feeling the wish to be in the spotlight. i know people are used to the version of me who is more on the backdoors, so i repress my own self to be that way. how can i not fear the potential judgement of my environment if i decide to change who i am? i am afraid of being mocked like, idk “shes trying so, hard.” it might sound bratty, but i wanted to share it with you and see if you have any experiences regarding it. thank you so much for this piece, i will take all your advices by heart and try to really apply them in my life. take care<3
I love this - I have never subscribed to the idea that you ‘find yourself’ but more that you get to build and create yourself! as you say, you can be whoever you want to be. x
The way you described your moodboard is the exact vibe you give off when I think of you
Thank you so much that made my night!
I find it so interesting to see the psyche of privilege express itself
as a very new adult who only turned eighteen about less than a month ago, my biggest struggle is just figuring out who i am. reading your words about envying those with rootfull family cultures i related to it so much. i envy people who are so sure of themselves. who just somehow know what to do, what to wear, what to say, how to say it at every occasion. my envy does not take the form of jealousy, however i am tired of trying on costumes of personalities that very obviously don’t fit me. you are someone i dearly look up to as an idol, even and i take your words seriously. i have a question though. how do you feel okey with changing your personality? to make that more clear, i feel like i have to somehow “fit in” the image that people have of me. i hesitate to look confident in rooms despite feeling the wish to be in the spotlight. i know people are used to the version of me who is more on the backdoors, so i repress my own self to be that way. how can i not fear the potential judgement of my environment if i decide to change who i am? i am afraid of being mocked like, idk “shes trying so, hard.” it might sound bratty, but i wanted to share it with you and see if you have any experiences regarding it. thank you so much for this piece, i will take all your advices by heart and try to really apply them in my life. take care<3
Loved this Bella, you’re truly inspiring
Creating it now!
Trac
I love this - I have never subscribed to the idea that you ‘find yourself’ but more that you get to build and create yourself! as you say, you can be whoever you want to be. x
Thank you for this!
Lovely essay. Enjoyed reading it. Subscribed :-) Do take a look at my work and let me know what you think :-)
I already listened to your whole podcast explaining this and decided to read this anyways…you just never disappoint! So captivating 💌
Love this